Why do most people actually fear the experience of love and therefor tend to reject it when they got exposed to it?
Because the majority of the people never have learned to receive it.
So that when they are facing someone that offers love to them, they simply don’t know how to handle that, because the feelings they wittness in themselfs is often not what they have expected it to be. They start to realize, that to receive this love and to open themselfs for it would also mean to admit that they never experienced it before and also that they would have to be vulnerable.
And vulnerability? The mostly common understanding of the ego for vulnerability is weakness.
And how hard we have learned, over so many years, to cut exactly this vulnerability and sensitivity off, to suppress it, so that we can fit in the models that our modern society has created.
We haven’t been loved unconditionally as what we are and mostly we never have been. We have been loved as the model, people wanted to see in us. And therefor, we have learned to cut everything off that would have ment to not fit into this model that ensures us of these supposedly love so that we can at least survive.
So we have learned to deny ourself.

So what happens when there is someone that wants to see us as what we are and even more bad, even dares to love and accept us for simply beeing ourself?

We start to feel this denial and therefor the pain, we have paid over years for suppressing these parts of ourself. We instantly get connected to the denial we gave to ourself to fit into the expectations of the people that surrounded us and that we have been dependend on in our childhood. This can imply our parents, our siblings, our teachers and even the other kids in the school.

The unexpected perception of this pain usually leads to a shock that imediatly starts a thinking process.
This can’t be true. This person must lie. The person tries to deceive me. This person just don’t love itself so this must be toxic. (Oh toxicity. An often misused word. The modern variation of the word witch, but yeah codependency as counterpart of narcissm is in fact also a denial of love.)

We doubt and therefor start to fear. And how do our instincts, how does our body react when we face fear? We fight or flight.
We start to think about what causes this pain and often we came to the nearest conclusion that the reason for this pain must be the person that offered us this love. Why? Because it is easier then to admit that we may be the actual cause of this pain.

So instead of open ourself up to get what we are longing for, gettin vulnerable and therefor got a chance to work on healing this pain, we close off, tend to run away and searching for someone that proves our already conditioned perception of love. What sadly most of the time got nothing to do with it at all. It in fact feels just more familiar to us.
This way we can avoid the pain and tell ourself the story that we are feeling loved because someone treats us the way we already know because we have learned it. What most of the time leads to a search for denial. For compensation or for an agreement of avoiding each other.

In other words to put this long story a bit shorter. The ego, or the thinking patterns and believe systems we have developed to sustain ourself and fit in a society, that didn’t loved us the way we are. Fights desperately for it’s own survival.
Because when there would be a possibility of beeing loved as what we are, we wouldnt need these hard developed ego.
And if we wouldnt need it, all the surpressed emotions could flow freely, what actually would have the potential to free ourself. But for this. We need to be brave, we need to face this and actually embrace the vulnerability we are trying to avoid so desperately.

These days are filling me with the hope that they are helping us all to find the braveness to do that.
For a world of sensitive people never ever could create a world like we have did, because when you are sensitve, you are feeling directly when you do harm to life just like you would feel it yourself.
So if we really want to receive these love we are longing for. We have to love ourself in a way that allows us to be vulnerable and therefor open again to receive it.

So my wish for humanity these days.
That we become brave enough again to be vulnerable to create that world our hearts always knew is possible.

Beautiful days to all of you 🙏❤️